Columnist Jenny McCarthy discusses how to deal with name-calling
I have epilepsy, which is under control and everything, but for some reason I still get really upset over people making comments and jokes about it. I’ve spoken to my mom about it, but she doesn’t seem to care. I don’t know how to tell people to back off, but in a really polite way.
— Colletta from Johannesburg, South Africa
Dear Colletta from the other side of the world: I wrote in a previous blog post (Splash.suntimes.com) about haters and why people say mean things. There is never a time that the person throwing an insult is not talking about themselves in one way or another. Love who you are, love what you see. Hate who you are, hate what you see — every single time.
As someone who has been assaulted with verbal insults, I can now easily separate myself from taking anything personally. My son, Evan, who also has epilepsy, has been called names for years through my Twitter messages. As a mother bear, I used to want to hunt down the name callers and destroy them. But now I know that they are souls who are hurting so bad inside that they need to project it out. So how can I be mad? It would be like getting angry at a child who has the stomach flu and didn’t hold it down. It’s not their fault. We are just mirrors for one another and sometimes the health conditions people live with are easy targets because others see them as imperfections.
I also don’t believe that your mom doesn’t care. I just think she might be old enough to know that sticks and stones may break your bones but names will never hurt you. She knows not to give those comments energy, just like you shouldn’t.
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