I’ve recently become a part of the rumor mill, and for the first time I’m clueless about what to do. I found out that someone I’ve known for 20 years has spread rumors about my family and me. When I confronted them, they denied it, but another person I’ve known for more than a decade was there and confirmed that it was said. I’m not a fan of the back-and-forth nonsense, but I just don’t know what to do How should I handle this?
This is a really great question because so many people can relate. Being in the public eye, I have gotten pretty used to watching rumors come and go — but that doesn’t mean they don’t hurt. When I stop and do the work on situations like this, I notice that it’s my ego that wants to fight and defend my truth of the situation. That realization allows me to separate myself from my ego so I can actually have a conversation with it. It goes something like this:
“Hey ego, why do you care about the rumor?”
My ego replies, “Because what they are saying about you is not true!”
Then I ask myself this: “Why do I care?”
Again, the only answers I come up with are ego related. I think that my self-worth will be diminished; I think that people will think less of me. It’s then that I realize that what I need to fix is me, not the rumors. If you have a strong sense of self-worth, and you truly love yourself, people can say anything about you because you know that it’s not you. When it comes to people who believe false information, that’s their problem — not yours. The first act of war is defense, so don’t start the war by defending your ego.
Every time it comes up again in your life, look at it immediately as an opportunity to build your own self-worth and self-love and disconnect from the other person’s ego. They’re just looking to feed off of your ego.